the day where everything changes

28th July 2008 - The day which I thought a happily-ever-after story will begin. Being as naive as I am, I never wanted to believe that nothing lasts forever, until you left. It wasn't easy coping with life since then. I guess it was because I was too attached to you that once you've let go of me, I can't stand up on my own again, but I believe, time can mend the heart that has been shattered to a million pieces months ago.



I remember the time where we used to text each other and I informed you that you sent the 1000th message to the inbox of my phone and you even asked me to inform you if you are the 10000th. You are indeed. It's just that I didn't have the chance to tell you while we were still in a relationship, better - on a talking term. If only you would want to remember the fun we had while shooting for the sitcom.



This day last year, was the first time ever we kissed, we held hands and watched our first movie as lovebirds. I remember every single thing that we went through together - both happy and sad. I remember all the meaningful conversations and messages that we used to exchange everyday until the very last day of our relationship. I'm still keeping them, as a memory you. 7 months - not a short period of time I would say. Everything is so fresh in my mind right now as if it happened just yesterday. I will always remember the trips we make to the malls and also Genting.



How would I ever forget the times when you fall asleep without saying good night. It was often, but who cares ?? I loved you. I also remember the times where we used to spoil and tease each other and how you made me sing the Hot and Cold song by Katy Perry. It was fun. I enjoyed all the sleepovers at my place and not forgetting how we spent my birthday @ One Utama. I enjoyed making gifts and cards for you, but I doubt if you really liked them but who cares ?? I loved you. I enjoyed the night where you became my date for my first prom and also the night where we stayed up and tell each other everything about our high school lives.

There are so many things that I remember about us, but I doubt if you do. There are so many things that I've always wanted you to know but I didn't have the chance or guts to do so. I still miss you, as much as last year, today. I wouldn't deny the fact that you're still stucked in my heart, because moving on from such a fairy tale is such a waste to me. But I know that everything that has ended, will never repeat itself.



Thank you for all the times that we've spent together. You taught me how to believe in myself and also in fate. You made me believe that everything happens for a reason. I've learnt a lot while I'm left all by myself, struggling to put back the broken pieces together. Life was tough ever since you stopped everything about us. But all I know is that it's time to move on now, as you've washed your hands. The whole journey was great and fun, but everything that is fun will come to an end. One year is more than enough.

do respond if you read this ; at least I know I'm not talking to myself.

if only I can wash you away just like the waves washing away the sand.

sometimes I wish you are here.

sometimes I feel I'm better of without you.